Dark days have descended upon my life.
I have been bothered by a mysterious intestinal bug for the entire summer, an illness of which I'll spare you the details except to say that it makes my body do disgusting things. I finally saw a gastroenterologist, though, and got a diagnosis identifying the ugly little parasite that has been tormenting me.
So what does this have to do with beer? And why am I so glum? Because the medicine I've been prescribed requires abstinence from alcohol. I can't drink for the next eight days! And this weekend I'm entered in a day-long poker tournament. I can't play poker sober! This is going to be a rough week.
I can't help but think of one of my favorite quotes, which I've seen credited to either Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin: "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's the best they're going to feel all day."
(UPDATE: Well, apparently I can play poker sober. Out of a 27-player field, I finished fifth and managed to come out $20 ahead. But I still want a beer, dammit.)
New Badge: REAL TEXAS HOLIDAY
1 week ago
7 comments:
I was officially scared for you. At least it is only 8 days. Not some awful disease that means you can never drink again! Good luck in the tournament.
I feel sorry for you. Drinking to feel happy?? It's ok to drink socially but I can't believe you feel bad because you won't be able to drink for 8 days?? You should think about your disease. I hope you don't end up with esophageal cancer!
Um … it's a joke, anonymous. Perhaps you missed the title of my blog.
I hope you don't end up with a need for a sense of humor transplant.
Just think how good that first beer will taste after an eight day break! I will attempt to have one extra beer a day for you. Do you think there are sad-sacks out there who do nothing but trawl the net for moral crusades? I'd better have a beer for Anonymous as well. And one for me so I can feel happy.('Now, where is that button that indicates sarcasm'...hmmm)
Cheers
Prof. Pilsner
Good luck zapping your little stowaay. If this past weekend didn't kill it, it's one tough mutha.
Oh. Yeah. Um...
"Stowaay" is Dutch for "stowaway".
Vices must be conserved, so do what I do: Take up cigar smoking for the next 8 days.
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