No, seriously.

Really: I swear, swear, swear I will do my full-length write-up of my magnificent trip to Portland very soon, but I haven't had time the past two weeks because I've been adjusting to my new job as a staff writer for the Chronicle. In the meantime, you'll just have to satisfy yourself with this abbreviated synopsis that I did for our food section.

And damn, could I look any goofier in that photo? (Wait, don't answer that.)